yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
