Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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