Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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