The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize