"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
