Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
