38 yer olds are good kisserssss
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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