Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
