I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
