What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
