Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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