you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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