you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
