You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
