I'm jealous of your bromance
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
no, he came in my armpit
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
