Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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