That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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