Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
