I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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