I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
