I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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