I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize