i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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