he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize