plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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