So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
