wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you had me at cake vodka
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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