so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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