I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
