i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
