Umm I'm too high to move.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
