Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
