just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Did I show you my penis last night?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
