these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
