Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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