She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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