I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize