respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
