I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I believe in your delicious
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize