may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
