You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
