I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
