The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This couple is walking their pig around campus
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
