her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
