'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
