Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize