She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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