i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
