C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
