The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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