just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
