Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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