..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
