you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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