Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
