no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
