My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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