Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
