I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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