why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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