She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
