Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
