I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I look better un-naked...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
