He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
