This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
