dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
