Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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