What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
