It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
