im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
